


You're safe now -baby-

by lovesicheng



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Character Development, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff and Angst, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mark and Donghyuck are a mess, Mutual Pining, Na Jaemin is a Softie, Non-Graphic Violence, Slow Burn, This isnt as bad as it sounds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 05:20:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14909108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovesicheng/pseuds/lovesicheng
Summary: You can't forgive and forget in this world. When people you trust, or people you thought you could trust, do something you wear it around forever. You shouldn't make the same mistakes. But why does Chenle feel like he makes the same mistakes over and over again? Why does he feel like because of those mistakes he'll end up alone, when he ran away from that loneliness that never seems to leave him.OrA nct dream dystopian story that no one asked for, but I still wrote.





	1. 01

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if I'll continue to post the other chapters. If people enjoy this I will but I've never written anything like this so I'm not sure xjsnd

The government controls people's lives, they control their emotions. You grow up alone, secluded, and your parents are taken away from you as soon as you're old enough to form memories. Your suitor is chosen for you at the age of 18. You live with that chosen person for the rest of your life, all children are taken away. Bonds are to be made to one person, and one person only, so as a child you talk to select people momentarily. Schooling is done privately. The teachers rarely converse. Certain people are selected to learn trades that,benefit the economy. The cities are surrounded by walls, so no one gets out, no one sees freedom(not like the rest of the world is much better). No one resists because they are taught that this is protecting them from crime and poverty.

When life seems perfect would you really want to leave? 

Everyone is on their records. But when people get out they aren't hunted, obviously, but there are still people looking out for vibrants. Vibrants, because once You get out you are free to feel. You can have vibrant emotions. 

You have to be quick, moving in small groups. Food is scarce but this is the price people pay for their emotions, their free will. That is if they make it out without being caught of course. Nobody knows what happens to those that are caught, but it couldn't be pleasant. 

 

Chenle moved to Korea as a baby, a very young baby, and his family was immediately transferred to Holding unit 07, where he grew up. He never knew why they moved because he doesn't even remember his parents so how is he supposed to know why they made such a crucial decision(though his guess was because China wasn't in the best state so many people left). Foreigners, especially the Chinese, were treated differently. 

The aspect of living in this perfect society wasn't so bad. No one went hungry, crime was rare(but not totally wiped out) and you lived in a perfect relationship. Well, that is if you were a normal person. If you were like Chenle and you liked people of the same gender then you could never truly be happy, who would be happy in a world pinned against them. So naturally he denied his sexuality, when his holders found out(He had no idea how)they weren't too pleased with that. 

Holders were people who watched over you. During the day you were sent off to school, escorted by holders, and at the end of the day you were sent back to your temporary living arrangements where they waited for you. Usually they just waited outside the door just in case you tried to leave, that was the best kind of holder. Some got into people's business and that never turned out. 

Chenle has always wanted to leave. He hated being told what he could and couldn't do, so he started planning. Suitor day seemed like his best chance. A day where everyone(ages 15-18) who didn't already have their match was given one. So many people would be gathered in one building he could easily sneak out. But he knew he wouldn't make it to suitor day, so he had to leave soon. 

Chenle was fast, which was a trade in its own(in his humble opinion). So when he managed to sneak out, in broad daylight, he ran to the walls and climbed them without looking back. He hadn't been caught and when he got to the other side of the wall he ran as fast as he could(there were patrolling holders around the walls). He ran until he couldn't run anymore. 

Chenle had been on his own for months now. He developed a strategy to finding food, not that he ate often anyways. His strategy consisted of going into stores, abandoned of course, searching for food and leaving before anyone showed up. It never posed any sort of problem, until now. 

This time he heard people. Three people he guessed, and he panicked. He always panicked when he heard people. He hated being alone, but he hated what people could do to him. Chenle grabbed his knife and quietly shuffled over to them, grabbing the first person he saw. His knife immediately on the strangers neck(he really,hated violence but sometimes it seemed necessary. Though it truly never is).

“Who are you guys?” He’s never been an intimidating person. 

“Who are you?” A boy who looked a couple years older than Chenle asked him back. Anyone could tell he was cute, but really this wasn't a time to be a thirsty homosexual. He had to think of how he could be harmed in this situation. 

Chenle pushed the knife closer to the boys neck and he watched as the boys eyes widened. “I asked you first.” he wasn't one for dramatics but he felt like he did pretty well when the boy quickly answered. 

“I’m Jaemin” The boy that answered before quickly spoke, he pointed to the boy next to him, “That's Jeno. And the one you are currently holding is Renjun. Now, who are you?” 

“Chenle.” he answered simply as he pushed Renjun to the ground. He put his knife back like it had never been out. 

“Where's your group?” Jeno asked, probably expecting to get jumped any second now. 

“I'm alone.”

“Do you want to come with us?” Jeno asked him. Chenle scoffed, “I just held a knife up to his throat and you are asking me to join you? That's how you get killed, and besides how do I know you guys aren't with them?” 

Jaemin stepped up, he seemed to be the leader of their little trio. “Listen, you snuck up on Renjun, you were right behind him but we didn't notice you. That's impressive,” 

“Your point is?” 

“We need someone like you.” Jaemin pleaded with him, “We are not saying you have to trust us but you could benefit from this too. You help us, we’ll help you.” 

“Fine.” Chenle looked down and Renjun before glaring at Jaemin warningly. “You guys try anything, and he dies.” 

He let his guard down easily. Too easily. 

“Deal!” Jaemin said enthusiastically as he stuck his hand out for Chenle to shake. Chenle ignored him, ignored Jaemin’s deflated pout, “What's next?”

“Well,” Renjun spoke up “We were gonna start looking for a place to spend the night, but this area is kind of crowded.” 

“No shit, we are close to the walls. We have to head towards the lake.” Chenle said as he grabbed Renjun’s backpack and started grabbing random items off the almost empty shelves. Before shoving the backpack back into his hands. 

“Chenle, with all due respect, that's the dumbest idea I've ever heard.” Jaemin said before continuing, “Everyone is gonna be heading towards the lake. The holders are gonna be everywhere over there.” 

“I never said we had to stay!” Chenle glared at Jaemin, “We just need to head over there because it's far away from the walls, once we get that far we can head in another direction. Holders are lazy, they won't travel that far.” 

“Fine.” Jeno nodded slightly, he looked strong. Chenle didn't like to feel weak under a person's gaze, but that's how he felt when Jeno locked eyes with him. “We have to leave now.” 

God he was so pathetic. 

“I know a spot we can sleep for the night.” 

The three traveled in silence. They also didn't question Chenle, they trusted him. They had to walk far to get to the spot, but it was well hidden, so they didn't complain. Chenle started setting things up, ignoring what everyone had to say. 

He was only good at being a horrible person. 

“Chenle,” Jeno started, they had finished setting up and were all talking(Well Chenle wasn't) around the fire Renjun built, “Why don't you carry a backpack around with you? You have nothing with you.” 

“A backpack would give me away. I grabbed Renjun by his backpack,” he looked over at Renjun who previously had been smiling, but was now frowning with his eyes cast on his feet, “I prefer to move quietly. I can't do that with a loud bag on my back.” 

Renjun, finally spoke up, in a small voice, “Jeno and Jaemin did the same thing to me when they met me.” He tried to mask what he said with a laugh but Chenle could tell he still held a grudge. 

“Renjunnie, I told you I was sorry so many times!” Jeno pleaded with him and Jaemin rolled his eyes, sensing Chenle’s confusion he explained, “When we met Renjun we tried to kill him. Jeno may look intimidating but he’s actually a softie. He felt bad and we let Renjun join us.”

“Do you guys know each others stories?” Chenle asked them, they seemed to trust each other a lot. He didn't want to tell them about his life. He wouldn't. 

“Nope.” Jeno shrugged, “Me and Jaemin actually saw each other the day we escaped but i don't know how he did it. Some stories are rough and some people don't want to share. As long as we have each others backs it doesn't matter how we got here.” 

Jaemin smiled and got up, “We set up a couple blankets over there, and of course since we now have four instead of three someone will have to share.” 

“I don't need one.” Chenle spoke up and Jaemin immediately shushed him, “Yes, you do baby.” 

“baby?”

“You look like a baby. So you're my baby.” Jaemin smiled and Chenle couldn't help but smile back. He was going to get himself killed.

“I'll share with Chenle. Renjun, and Jeno, you two can have your own. Sleep well guys, we are gonna leave first thing in the morning and we’ll be walking, all day. And Jeno I swear if you complain the whole time i’ll kill you.” He glared at Jeno as he said the last part. 

Renjun and Jeno seemed unfazed by what Jaemin had said as they immediately started to settle down(you would think they were sharing a blanket by how close they were, but no). 

Chenle cautiously made his way down to Jaemin who smiled at him, he had a pretty smile. “You look tired.” Jaemin said in a soft voice and it was impossible for Chenle to not feel safe around him. 

“I am.” Chenle shrugged and sat down next to Jaemin. He had to admit he was scared. He hadn't been this close to someone in a while, “I-I haven't slept in a while.” He truly was pathetic. He couldn't even talk to someone. 

“Why?” Jaemin questioned. But you could tell he wasn't pushing for an answer. Chenle didn't know why he wanted to answer, he shouldn't want to tell Jaemin things like this. 

“I’m paranoid.” Chenle hated admitting things like this. People could use it against him. It wouldn't be the first time. 

Jaemin started playing with Chenle’s hair, it felt good, but it scared Chenle. He didn't want a repeat of the holders, his old ‘friends’, he didn't want to be used again. Jaemin didn't seem like the type of person to trick him, but that's what Chenle thought every other time. He was always wrong. 

“Chenle, baby what's wrong? Why are you crying?” Jaemin hurriedly asked, his voice soft and laced with concern as he pulled Chenle into a hug. 

“I’m scared. Please don't hurt me.” He didn't know why he said that. He didn't know why he was crying. He didn't know why he let Jaemin pull him into a hug. He just knew that he felt safe, he felt like he could trust them. But maybe that's what confused him the most. 

“You're safe. I won't ever let anyone hurt you.” Jaemin cooed. He held Chenle tighter.   
Chenle realized what a mistake he had made when he started to feel safe in Jaemin, a strangers, arms.

And when Jaemin started talking to Renjun and Jeno, he realized that maybe they weren't bad guys. He was the bad guy. 

“Is he asleep?” he heard Renjun ask. 

“Yeah, poor baby wore himself out.” Jaemin,replied and he felt hands softly comb through his hair. He wanted it to stop. But he couldn't bring himself to stop it. 

“Why was he crying?” Renjun asked, “I don't know. I just touched his hair and he got this terrified look on his face, and the next thing I knew he was crying. When I asked him why he said he was scared, he said please don't hurt me, in the softest voice and my heart broke a little.” 

“Do you think maybe a past group hurt him? He’s quite hostile and guarded.” Jeno spoke up and Renjun immediately shut that down, “You can tell he’s never had a group. Maybe it was holder?” 

When Renjun said that Chenle flinched. Was he that easy to read? Or was Renjun just observant? It wasn't that he hadnt had a group, he has but it never lasted. He felt Jaemin’s hands on his back, rubbing circles on it, “It’s okay baby, go back to sleep. You're safe now.” Jaemin whispered reassuringly. 

“He looks so small.” He heard someone, but he couldn't tell who it was, say after a couple minutes. They probably thought he fell back asleep. 

“Nobody would ever guess that he threatened to kill Renjun just a couple hours ago.” Jeno laughed. How were they laughing about that? “He said he hasn't slept in three days.” Jaemin said softly and Chenle wondered how he managed to meet the only, seemingly, soft people.

“I just want to protect him. He act's all tough and hostile but he’s really just a soft baby. His past is his past. But now he’s in the present. I don't want him to look back at joining us with regret. I want him to feel safe with us, I want to protect him.” 

“Jaemin you can't take care of everyone you meet.” Renjun sighed. 

He felt the same hands that scared him earlier brushing through his hair, “I can try.”


	2. 02

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Selfish.

Chenle was harsh the next day. Well he was always harsh. Just he felt the need to be distant. This always happened to him, he let himself be dragged in. Only to recoil once he came to his senses. So when everyone tried to talk to him he ignored them. 

“Did you sleep well last night?” Jeno’s voice rang through his ears. He almost answered. But he told himself it was for the best and he ignored him. 

“Chenle, he asked you a question.” Jaemin spoke up, he acted like an adult. Which wasn't a bad thing. But in the mind of a rebellious teenager who was just trying to live his life alone this was quite a problem. 

“I know. I’m trying to focus.” He flashed them a fake smile before turning and continuing to lead. 

He knew he was making them mad. Yet his mind urged him to continue.

They wouldn't stop talking. Chenle wanted to join their conversations, but he knew he couldn't. He wouldn't. He wasn't only looking out for himself he was looking out for them too. Chenle wasn't a stable person, he snapped sometimes and he could get violent. He knows he can't control his temper, so he’s just protecting them. But it was hard to ‘protect’ them when they wouldn't stop yelling. 

Selfish.

 

“Will you guys shut the fuck up!” he snapped and watched as they all froze, “I’m trying to focus, and get us to the lake! If you guys want to talk so badly why don't you help me instead of standing there and being useless!” he dug his nails into his arm, a nervous habit, he did that whenever he tried to calm himself down. It was better than violently hitting or kicking something, or someone. If he got nervous he did this as a way to distract his mind. He tried to get his mind to focus on the pain rather than the problem, and It calms him down. Sure, it hurts, a lot, but he has to do it. 

Jaemin noticed, of course, nothing seemed to pass him. He slowly walked over to him his hand softly grabbing Chenle’s wrist. Chenle yanked his hand away, he did it without thinking, “Don't touch me.” he tried to make it sound threatening. He wanted them to take a hint, but he just sounded weak. He wanted help. But he didn't know how to ask for it. 

He just hoped they wouldn't touch him again. He didn't want to make the same mistake. He didn't want to hurt them like he hurt her. But part of him knew that hurting them was inevitable. 

“Chenle you're bleeding. He was just trying to help.” He sounded concerned. Chenle didn't want them to care about him, “I don't care. We need to get going.” with that he turned around and started walking, not looking back. He knew they were following him. Even if he felt bad for snapping like that, he couldn't apologize. 

They didn't talk to him for the rest of the day. This is what Chenle wanted. But why did he feel so empty? He wanted to be left alone, so why was a newfound loneliness creeping onto his heart? 

Chenle started to notice that they were lacking in energy. If it was just himself he would have pushed himself and kept going but now that he was with people he had to rest. He scanned the area, only a clearing, well looks like he wasn't going to rest anyways. “We’ll leave early in the morning. We’re in a risky area so I’ll keep watch over night.” 

“No, you're gonna go to sleep. You're too young to be staying up like this, it'll go bad.” Jaemin spoke up. He should have seen this coming. But he didn't want to sleep around them again, when you slept you were vulnerable. If you're vulnerable, especially in this world, things will go wrong for you. 

“It’s not up to you.” Chenle stated and he quickly climbed a tree, he did that a lot. He spent most of his nights in trees. Climbing was one of his strong points. He liked to hide.

“Chenle get down from there! You need to go to sleep.” Jaemin called up and when Chenle didn't reply he just continued, “I don't know where this newfound attitude came from but you need to lose it! I’m really trying my best, I don't know why you hate us so much!” 

Chenle ignored all his protests and Jaemin gave up after a couple minutes. The last thing Jaemin said may have hurt Chenle a little. He didn't want them to think he hated them, he didn't. 

Chenle did keep an eye out, he wasn't lying when he said they were in a risky area. There could be holders around here, a lot of people headed to the lake, hoping to cross it. They could also come across other vibrants. And they were scarier than holders. Most vibrants resorted to violence, but that was a given. If you let your guard down(especially around groups) you could lose your life. 

When they ate Jaemin brought Chenle some food. Chenle refused to take it. “When was the last time you ate? You're so small, I don't think that's healthy.” Jaemin asked him sternly. 

“Why do you care?” Chenle spat out and for once Jaemin didn't reply. He just frowned and walked back to the others, god, Chenle ruined everything. 

When the morning came Chenle waited for them to wake up. Renjun woke up first, he immediately walked over to Chenle. “I know you're just being cautious, and i’m fine with you snapping at me, I'm fine with you holding a knife to my throat. But, please, don't hurt them. I can't tell you have a short temper but don't take it out on them,” Renjun didn't wait for a response. Chenle liked him, he didn't know why but he did. Jeno and Jaemin underestimated Renjun, but Chenle didn't. 

“Chenle, we’re gonna leave now.” Jeno said with a small smile, the smile only growing when Chenle acknowledged him. Chenle jumped down and made his way over to the group who all looked way too cheerful, they were always happy. When they started walking, Chenle quietly followed. He didn't want to disturb their happy aura. 

The walk was uneventful at first. The three talked the whole time, this time Chenle let them lead. If he couldn't apologize to them directly he’d do it subtly. 

Chenle liked to think he was observant and alert. That is, if he could actually hear. When you are travelling with three other people you have to accommodate. But sadly Chenle didn't get the chance to do that. 

“Why aren't you closer to your friends, pretty boy.” Chenle felt a hot breath run down his neck, but that feeling was quickly replaced by something cold. Something sharp, a knife. 

He was usually anxious. But whenever he felt his chest tighten, his throat close, and his eyes burn, he gave himself some space. But he couldn't do that. He’d never been in this situation before. “Don't cry, I won't hurt you.” the man said mockingly, his hand softly grabbing Chenle’s chin and lifting it upwards. 

Renjun’s head snapped back at the strange voice. When he saw the situation his eyes widened, “What do you want?” his voice was a lot rougher than it usually was. Chenle had to admit it was kind of intimidating. But the man didn't seem intimidated(maybe, because he was a lot bigger than them) Chenle could feel the vibrations of the man's laugh, “I want him.”

Jaemin eyed Chenle, “Well you can't have him.” 

 

Chenle was shaking. Another problem he had, if he got scared he shook, a lot. His mind was running wild. He locked eyes with Renjun who quickly tapped his pocket, Chenle knew what he meant. He had a knife in his pocket. As he slowly reached down to grab it he felt a hand on his stomach, he panicked. He was going to try and be more coordinated but things never seemed to go his way. Chenle took this moment to spin around, ignoring the sting of the knife sliding across his neck, driving the knife into the man's stomach. Chenle felt a sting in his arm, but he had to ignore it. As soon as Chenle had been released he kicked the stranger down and ran off. 

Chenle ran as far and as fast as he could. When he stopped only to realise he was alone his panic came back. He felt the need to hide, he didn't feel safe with his back turned. Did he go back? 

When he heard footsteps he didn't know what to do. Did he hide? His instinct was to climb a tree, but when he tried to the dying in his arm prevented him from getting up. So he kept running. He didn't stop running until his legs gave out, by that time he had made it close to the lake. It was dark, he was tired, and he couldn't feel his legs. When his vision started fading he let it happen. Maybe, he deserved this. 

All the bad things he’s done to people were finally catching up to him.

Would they even come looking for Chenle? He doubted it. He never treated them nicely, they were probably ecstatic to see him run off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi,, I suck at writing sorry my stories are so trashy especially this one,, this chapter originally ended w Chenle meeting some new people but I saved that for later :')


	3. 03

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of a filler chapter?? I'm sorry it sucks sjsidja I just have a bunch of chapters written for this story and I felt like putting this one out,,

When his vision came back along with his consciousness it was dark. There was a pool of blood around Chenle and when he looked at his arm a gasp escaped his lips. His shirt had a tear in It, it was covered in blood(Chenle didn't even know he had that much blood). When he tried to get up his vision faded again and a sharp sting shot through his head, his hand immediately on his head. 

Knowing he couldn't just stay like this he looked around for a tree(juvenile but it worked) and he quickly hoisted himself up into it. Ignoring the way his arm stung when he used it. When he got into the tree he knew he wasn't going to sleep, he was in far too deep to sleep. 

When the next day rolled around he was in a lot of pain. The stinging of his neck and arm only increased. He had honestly forgotten that his neck had been cut until it started to sting, badly. His whole body ached from running. He was tired, but too scared to sleep. Hungry, but he had no food. Renjun had all their food. God, again, he was such a dumbass. Jaemin was right, he should've taken care of himself. 

At about noon(a rough estimate) he heard voices. He didn't recognise them, of course he did not recognise them.This was about the time where he would hide. But, his body ached, he could barely move. He opted for staying as still as he could, when they came into his view he didn't budge. 

“All I’m saying is that we need to get away from the lake! Did you see how many people were over there?” one boy yelled, there were three of them. 

“Mark, no one cares!” another boy yelled back. They stopped walking and they turned to each other. Chenle hoped they wouldn't spot him.

“I care! I’m just trying to keep us safe! Do you really have to pick a fight with me right now?” 

“I’m really trying my best Mark! I'm trying to keep Jisung safe and I think crossing the lake is the best way to do that!”

One boy who looked around Chenle’s age met his gaze, his eyes widened and he quickly tugged on one of his friends sleeve, “Uh Donghyuck” 

Well fuck. 

“The adults are talking, Jisung.” he waved him off but, Jisung, if that was his name was persistent and he brought the attention to Chenle. 

Chenle made eye contact with them. It was all he could do(except for pray that they would leave him alone and trust me he was doing that). 

“What do we do?” 

“He looks terrified. He’s alone we’re probably scaring him.” 

“How do we know he’s not dangerous. It's always the small ones that jump you.” 

“Hyuck, He’s covered in blood. I don't think he’s in any position to jump us.” 

“Can you come down? We won't hurt you, we can help you.” He said softly and Chenle shook his head ignoring the way they frowned. He wasn't going down there. “I’m Mark,” he pointed to himself, “That’s Donghyuck.” He pointed to the one who looked very worried, and then he pointed to the one that had noticed Chenle, “That's Jisung”. 

“I’m trained in the medical field. I’ll help you, but you have to come down.” Donghyuck spoke up. Chenle was scared and alone, he doesn't know why he decided to trust them. He told himself that once he was fixed up he would run, run far away from them. 

When he got down he was shaking, he was scared, and it really hurt to move. It really hurt to walk. Mark immediately ran over to him and tried to help him but Chenle glared at him, or at least tried to, “Don't touch me.”

Mark and Donghyuck exchanged worried glances. Chenle guessed that they were regretting their decision. 

“Let's set up somewhere else.” Donghyuck looked at Chenle, “Are you gonna tell us your name?” 

“Chenle.” 

“Well Chenle, I’m gonna try my best to help you.” Donghyuck smiled. He reminded Chenle of Jaemin, optimistic, and persuasive. 

Chenle hated to admit it. But he hoped that Renjun, Jaemin, and Jeno would find him. He regretted running off the way he did. Because now he was stuck walking with random people as he hoped for the best. Maybe he missed them more than he should.


	4. 04

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know i update this a lot,, but,, i just have a lot written for it and ive been splitting all my, chapters in half this was supposed to be chapter 3 but I added to the other chapters,, anyways I suck at writing this book is so baddnsns

Chenle was in a lot of pain when they finally arrived at the camp. He patiently waited(actually he hoped they'd never finish) for them to finish setting up. When they did they all sat around and Mark motioned for Chenle to come over; reluctantly he did. 

Donghyuck moved over to Chenle, couldn't they wait a little longer? He reached out to touch Chenle’s arm only to retract it when the arm flinched away. Donghyuck sighed, “I’m just trying to help you. If you want to get your arm patched up I'm going to need your cooperation.” 

Chenle reluctantly moved closer to Donghyuck who in turn smiled at him before looking him up and down with a frown on his face, “Can you take your shirt off? It's covered in blood and it's covering your wounds,”

Chenle froze. Did he really have to do that? He knows Donghyuck is just trying to help him. But he really doesn't want to be more vulnerable than he already is. 

“Hyuck he looks terrified. Why don't you just cut his shirt?” Jisung asked(He didn't seem to talk much) and Donghyuck sighed, “If I cut his shirt he won't have anything to wear after.” 

“He can have my sweater.” Jisung offered, “He’s small. It'll fit him.” 

“Are you sure?” Donghyuck asked. “Yes, besides, i’m kind of outgrowing it anyways.” 

“Can I cut your shirt?” Donghyuck asked him softly. He could feel everyone's eyes on him and he didn't want to cause an even bigger scene so he just nodded. Donghyuck smiled and thanked him before cutting his shirt(it was tight(er) so they couldn't just roll it up) to expose his arm. Chenle didn't look.

“Markiepoo,” Donghyuck called out and Chenle heard someone groan. 

“Stop calling me that!” 

“Can you give me the bag” Donghyuck ignored what he said and when the bag was handed to him he smiled, Mark didn't smile back. Donghyuck’s smile faltered but he shrugged and pulled some water and a cloth out of the bag. As he started to clean the wound, and the dried up blood all over Chenle, he started asking questions. 

“How long have you been alone?” He asked questions like Jaemin. They were soft and he knew he didn't have to answer them, but he always did. 

“two days.” 

“What happened to your group?”

“I freaked out and ran. We weren't together for that long so they're probably glad to have me gone.” 

“Why would they be glad to have you gone?” Donghyuck asked and them his eyes widened, “Did they hurt you?” 

“No! It wasn't them, they would never do something like that. I just wasn't very nice to them that's all.” 

Mark walked over, “Can I ask what happened?” Chenle knew they were all listening, even Jisung. 

“Someone walked up behind me, grabbed me, and I stabbed him. He fought back. When he let me go I panicked and ran. I should've waited for my group, but I'm so used to being alone so I wasn't thinking.”

“they're probably worried.” Donghyuck said as he started wrapping Chenle’s arm. 

“probably not. I wasn't very nice to them, I tried to kill one of them when I first met them.” he refused to look at anything but his free hand. He could see what his little habit had done to his arm and it wasn't too pretty, but what's done is done. 

“They probably understand why you did it.” Jisung finally spoke up, “You were protecting yourself.”

When Donghyuck finished wrapping him up he spoke up, “Jisungie, give him your sweater I don't want him to freeze.” 

A black hoodie was handed to him. He looked up at Jisung who was now wearing a black, long,sleeve shirt(that looked really good on him). He quickly stood up and took his ruined shirt off, showing off his small waist, too small for a man's waist(his holders often told him that). In that moment he felt really exposed so he threw the sweater on as quickly as he could. Throwing Jisung a thankful smile after he got it on.

“He looks so cute!” Donghyuck exclaimed, he was a very animated person. “That sweater basically swallowed him but that's okay because he looks so soft I just want to hold him!” Chenle didn't know what to do, he never got praised like this. He could feel his face heating up and he opted to looking at his feet. 

“Stop being weird.” Mark spoke up, before Donghyuck could fight back he quickly continued “Chenle are you hungry?” 

“No.” that was a lie. 

Jisung gave him a skeptical look. He expected them to fight with him about it. That's what Jaemin and Jeno would have done. But they accepted it, “We’re gonna rest. You can stay with us if you want.”

Chenle just nodded and immediately hoisted himself up into a tree. He liked to be able to scope his surroundings out. He wasn't planning on sleeping, he didn't know what they would do to him if he slept. They seemed really nice but he didn't want to let his guard down around them. 

He didn't sleep. But he did this a lot. He only slept when he couldn't stand being awake. He only ate when he absolutely needed to. Sure, it wasn't healthy. But he was getting by, so he didn't care about his health.

As it got later into the night they still hadn't fallen asleep. But they hadn't made an attempt to talk to him, well until Jisung walked over. He stood at the base of the tree and gestured towards one of the branches, Chenle nodded, and Jisung quickly climbed up. Albeit it wasn't as smooth as he was, but it was still impressive. 

“You should eat.” Jisung pulled some sort of bar out of his pocket and handed it over to Chenle. 

“Thank you.” Chenle whispered, he didn't feel like fighting right now. He did end up eating it, he doesn't know why. He stayed quiet for a couple of minutes, he expected Jisung to leave but he didn't. When he didn't Chenle decided to talk to him. 

“How long have you been with them?”

“I've been with Donghyuck for a while. He saved my life, so I stuck with him. We met Mark only a couple weeks ago down by the lake.” 

“What about your group?” Jisung asked and Chenle sighed. He hoped they'd come looking for him but he didn't expect them to. 

“I met them about a week ago. That,was the first time I've ever been in a group, I've been with one other person before but it didn't end well.” 

Jisung didn't pry. He dropped the subject and started something else, “Mark said you could stay with us. We’re going to stay here for a couple of days because we don't know where we are going, so maybe, your group will come over this way.” 

“I don't think they will.”

“Well just in case if they do we’re gonna stay put.” Jisung said, “Donghyuck goes full mom on people that are younger than him so he refuses to leave you here alone.” 

Jisung jumped down from the tree and looked up at Chenle. “You should come down. It's cold over here, you'd be more comfortable by the fire.” 

Chenle nodded. He slowly made his way down(his body was sore still so it wasn't too fun). Jisung just smiled, he had a pretty smile, he was pretty. And He turned and started walking over to the group, Chenle followed. 

When he sat down he pulled his knees up to his chest and listened to them talk. It was warm, so when his eyes started to close he didn't fight it. He let himself fall asleep to the sounds of Mark and Donghyuck fighting and he decided that,maybe, they weren't so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was slightly enjoyable !! I know I may not be the best writer but idk I don't think this chapter turned out too bad anyways look forward to the next chapter !!


	5. 05

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is really bad!! But I couldn't get my mind to work when I was writing this chapter so it's a mess xjsjs

Chenle stayed with them for about two days and it was very uneventful. He just stuck himself in a tree, nothing new, and waited the days out. Unlike the days before, no one attempted to talk to him. With every passing day Chenle started to accept that they weren't coming for him, it hurt(a little). Sometimes when everyone fell asleep he would start to think, think about how he treated them. It usually landed him in a pool of regret. 

“Chenle can you come over here!” Donghyuck called out suddenly. He had a frown on his face, which was worrying because Donghyuck was the actual sun. Chenle hopped down and walked over to the group who all seemed to have a sour expression(except for Jisung his expression never seemed to change), “Is everything okay?” 

“We can't stay here for much longer.” Donghyuck sighed and Chenle already knew where this was going so he cut him off, “It’s okay. We can go, they aren't coming for me anyways.”

He didn't like to admit that. Everyone was thinking it though.

“I’m sorry.” Donghyuck always looked sad whenever Chenle said they weren't coming for him. Donghyuck sighed and walked off, running his fingers through his hair Mark quickly followed him. It didn't take an expert to tell that Donghyuck was upset. 

Chenle was stressed. He wasn't oblivious he knew that Donghyuck was upset because of him, he really did mess everything up. He slumped down to the ground and sighed. Should he just leave them? 

If he left they wouldn't have to worry about him anymore. They wouldn't feel obligated to sit and wait for his ‘friends’ to come and get him. But if he left them he’d be alone, and he didn't really want to be alone anymore. Plus he liked them. He just didn't like it when they worried about him. 

Nobody talked for a couple of hours. The sun had already started to set and Chenle still had the same things on his mind, should he leave? He didn't want to but it could be for the best. It's not like they were attached to him, he barely talked to them. He felt someone softly tap his shoulder, he looked up and saw Jisung, “Mark said he wants us to quickly go scout the area ahead to check if it's safe for tomorrow.” 

“Why us?” 

Jisung shrugged, “We’re faster and quieter than them.” 

Chenle decided not to question it anymore. He stood up and followed Jisung, they didn't talk. He just followed. Which proved to be a little difficult. Jisung was fast, and Chenle was out of his element. He preferred to stay hidden rather than stalk out in the open like this. Occasionally Jisung would look back to make sure he was still following. And then he’d turn right back around and continue walking. 

“How far are we going?” Chenle asked once they had been walking away for a significant amount of time. “Its getting hard to see.” 

“You're right,” Jisung turned around and gestured for Chenle to lead this time. 

“Lets go.” 

Jisung kind of scared him. He didn't know why, he just knew that he was always nervous around him. 

They didn't talk the whole way back. They just walked quickly. When they got back they noticed that there were more people in the camp, Chenle stopped and looked at Jisung, he looked back at the camp and when he saw Donghyuck and Mark over there he guessed that it was safe. “Oh, you're back!” Donghyuck called out with a smile when they got closer.

“We have a surprise for you!” Donghyuck gestured to the people sitting next to him and they turned around. Chenle froze. 

Had they really come looking for him?

Chenle didn't even wait for them to stand up, he ran over and hugged them. He’d definitely regret this. But in the moment he felt happy, that's all he could focus on. “We didn't want to give up but we started to think we’d never see you again. Then we came across Mark and Donghyuck accidentally and they said you were with them.” Jaemin held on longer than the others. Not a huge surprise. 

“You were actually looking for me?” 

“You may not care about us, but we care about you. We’ll always look for you.” 

He wanted to tell them how much he cared but he couldn't get the words out. The words were on the tip of his tongue, but when he opened his mouth to speak he was interrupted(though maybe it was for the best.” 

“We've decided to stick together. I know travelling as seven could be risky, but, it has it's perks. It'll be safer for us.” 

“Mark, you ruined the moment.” 

“This isn't even your moment why are you so caught up in it!” 

“Okay!” Renjun quickly cut in, “I think we should all sit and get to know each other.” 

Nobody argued with that. Sitting and peacefully talking was much better than Donghyuck and Mark fighting over anything and everything. Though they always stopped before things got too serious. As they all(everyone except Jisung) talked they startred to realise how late it had gotten they all decided to figure out sleeping arrangements(opting to go with Jaemin’s way of doing things for no particular reason other than ‘warmth’) Mark and Donghyuck immediately stuck together. Chenle as much as he liked to sit in Jaemin’s grasp he also knew he couldn't, he’d get too attached. 

Jisung didn't talk much. Anyone could tell he liked to stay on the side, he didn't get caught up in personal trivial matters. He was also nice to Chenle. So when he was asked who he wanted to sleep with he blurted out Jisung’s name. Everyone looked surprised that he had said that, probably expecting to hear Jaemin’s name. His only explanation being that him and Jisung were close in age making everyone nod like it made a lot of sense. Jisung didn't complain. When Chenle threw him an apologetic look he just shrugged. 

Renjun, Jeno, and Jaemin decided to stick in a little trio. They didn't have to but they said they liked it that way, whatever that meant. Mark and Donghyuck were much closer than you’d expect( Though in this situation you were bound to be touching a little) . 

Once Chenle sat down beside Jisung he started to regret his decision. It wasnt that Jisung made him uncomfortable, actually it was quite the opposite. He found that the way Jisung quietly covered him with the blanket only to act like he hadn't done anything made him nervous. Why would that make him nervous, he had no clue. Maybe he wasn't nervous, he was just warm, Jisung was really warm and Chenle was usually cold so it confused him. That's it. 

“When was the last time you slept?” Jaemin suddenly asked. 

Here he thought he was going to have a good day for once. But he should've known better, good days don't exist. 

“A couple nights ago.”

“Why don't you just sleep every night like everyone else.” all Chenle could hear was his disappointment. He thought that Jaemin would've been proud of him.

“Why don't you just leave me alone?” he heard Jisung laugh to himself only to quickly stop. 

“Chenle, he’s just worried about you.” Donghyuck replied, his usual snarkiness gone, “You lost a lot of blood and you didn't look to good when we met you he just wants you to recover properly.” 

“Can you guys just leave me alone? If you were only going to come looking for me so you could nag at me then you should've just left me to die!” he yelled, he didn't mean to lose his temper. But they really got on his nerves, it was his life not theirs. “Chenle, you can't keep yelling at us when we try to get close to you.” 

“I can do what I want. You aren't my mom Jaemin! Stop acting like you care about me.” his tone was harsh. He hated being mean to Jaemin, it always made him feel bad and he didn't know why. Yet whenever Jaemin talked he always found himself firing back with the meanest words. 

When everyone stopped talking he knew he must have said something wrong. When he saw the hurt in Jaemin’s eyes he felt horrible. He didn't mean to say that but he was mad and it just came out. 

“He's obviously just tired he knows you care about him. He’s had a long week, you guys have to you, you should get some rest.” Jisung cut in. He must have sensed the change in atmosphere(anyone could sense it really it was thick and loud). 

Thankfully, they listened to Jisung. Everyone must think he’s a horrible person for saying that when they obviously cared deeply for him. 

Chenle was honestly so tired he could barely keep his eyes open as more time passed. But even with that he couldn't fall asleep until he knew that everyone else was asleep. Everyone fell asleep quickly, except Jisung. Why did everything in his life seem to revolve around him. 

“Why are you still awake?” he whispered to Jisung. 

“Why are you still awake?” Jisung turned towards him. He looked nice in this light.

“I’m waiting for you to fall asleep so then I can sleep.” Maybe that wasn't the best thing to say. But what's done is done. 

“Why can't you just sleep when I'm awake?” 

“Nevermind. Goodnight” He didn't feel like explaining his whole life story to Jisung so he’d just force himself to fall asleep. When Jisung laughed softly as he whispered a goodnight back(though it was obviously not intended to be heard)Chenle felt warm again. Even as he fell asleep he couldn't peace together why Jisung made him feel like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I enjoy writing this story. I just feel really out of my element, I usually write emo or rest happy contemporaries so this is a change and I'm not sure if I'm pulling it off or not.


	6. 06

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the whole plot for this, I received a comment that was praising me but something clicked and I changed Chenle's backstory. Idk I just couldn't write about something so personal to me like that without bringing up some feelings I don't like. But the change isn't too drastic and it doesn't affect things too much!!

In a perfect world Chenle could get through his days the way he liked to. Which meant no fighting(as much as he fought he really didn't like to yell at people, because he didn't like being yelled at)and no violence. Waking up and punching someone in the face immediately isn't ideal. Chenle should know better than to wish for things that were impossible to achieve. 

Chenle really hadn't meant to. He felt horrible, but he just panicked. He always felt horrible when he resorted to violence but now he felt really bad. When he woke up on Jisung’s chest, arms wrapped around his waist, he felt trapped. So of course punching someone(who has always been really nice to him)in the face is the best course of action. 

They were the last people to wake up so when Jisung’s reaction was to yell, “What the fuck, Chenle!” everyone turned to look at them. Jisung was holding the side of his face, his other arm still around Chenle’s waist. With everyone looking he couldn't fight back. Plus he knew he was at fault. He just quickly scrambled up and walked over to Renjun, who looked surprised, he always got mad at Chenle for his temper. “What happened?” he sighed, it was too early for this. 

“I punched him.” 

“Chenle!” Jaemin exclaimed, “We've been over this! You need to control yourself!” 

Of course Jeno also voiced his opinion on the matter, “You can yell at us all you want, but you can't get physical.”

“It was an accident!” Chenle shouted. Which caused Mark and Donghyuck to walk over, “How do you accidentally punch someone in the face?” 

He was doing it again. He was really trying to control his temper. If he kept lashing out on them it was only a matter of time before they hated him, or worse(but Chenle didn't like to think of the bad stuff). But when everyone comes to reprimand you when they don't even know the full story, it's very hard to stay calm. 

Donghyuck looked the angriest. 

“Jisung has been really nice to you! He’s tried his hardest to make sure you feel comfortable!” Donghyuck started yelling at him, no one stopped him, “You can't just keep yelling at us because you're a little baby who is scared of physical contact! Oh no, someone touched me I guess I have to yell at them!” 

Donghyuck kept getting closer to him as he yelled. Again, no one made any effort to stop him and Chenle realised the worse may come sooner than he expected. “I’m sorry.” he whispered, but that only seemed to make things worse. 

“I’m so sick of you! I took you in and cared for you and i never should have, you're just a big burden! I should've just left you to die!” 

Chenle wished that he was left to die. 

“I never asked you to help me.” He mumbled but Donghyuck was close enough to hear him. A strong hand hit his face, he flinched but didn't fight it. He hadn't even seen it coming. When he looked up at Donghyuck he felt threatened. Like any second now Donghyuck would take his frustrations out on Chenle and not stop. 

He looked over at everyone else and it made him realise what he had done. Everyone was against him, even those he thought would have stood up for him. He couldn't even think of anything to say as he quickly walked off, he didn't care that he had walked in the direction of Jisung. He just couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't breath. He didn't like that, so he tried to calm himself down. 

“Chenle, look at me.” He looked up and saw Jisung sitting right in front of him, “Calm down.” he said softly, he pulled Chenle’s hands away from each other. He always managed to break all of Chenle’s walls, and maybe that was the worst thing that came out of all of this. 

“They all hate me.” He managed to say. But he felt like he was admitting something to himself rather than talking to Jisung. When he said that the reality of the situation hit him, he suddenly felt alone. 

He was alone. 

“I don't hate you.” Jisung grabbed onto Chenle’s hand reassuringly, “I understand that you panicked.” Chenle couldn't find it in himself to reply. He regretted everything, if he would have just cooperated none of this would have happened. Jisung probably hated him just like everyone else but he felt bad for him. Pity was worse than hatred. 

He felt a hand on his cheek where he had been hit, “Did it hurt?” Jisung asked softly and you could see he was expecting to be pushed away, so Chenle didn't do that, he just shook his head. He hadn't even thought of the pain until that moment. 

“I should just leave.” he felt like crying but he knew he didn't have the right to get upset over this. Everything they said to him was right, he was a burden. “No one wants me here.” 

“I want you here.” Chenle snapped his head up and his eyes widened. Jisung just smiled at him and stood up, he didn't say anything as he walked over to everyone else(Jaemin and Donghyuck looked like they were fighting about something but Chenle just ignored it). 

Chenle decided in that moment that he was going to drop his temper. Even if it was already a little late for that. He was so tired of disappointing everyone, and he hated knowing that his whole group hated him. So when everyone came back over, he stayed quiet(he also steered clear of Donghyuck just in case). 

But he didn't have to worry because everyone just ignored him(which someone felt worse than being hit). “Mark where are we going next?” Jaemin asked, they all had a sort of group huddle formed and again Chenle was excluded, he was alone. 

“Well, if we go around the lake instead of crossing it there's this town, started up by vibrants, and I think we should go there.” at least he could still hear what they were saying. 

“Mark, you're fucking dumb,” Donghyuck said, “Why would we go to a town? Holders will track that down. It's not safe.” 

“Just trust me okay.” He pleaded and Donghyuck rolled his eyes, “Fine, but if the babies, no just Jisung, get hurt then it's your fault.” he felt like everything had been confirmed in that moment. He knew he was included in the babies statement, but it was quickly retracted, which meant that Donghyuck didn't care what happened to him. 

“When do we leave?” Jeno asked, everyone seemed to ignore what he had just said. 

“As soon as possible.” 

“How long will it take to get there?” 

“A week or two.” 

“We should leave now, we've been in this spot for too long.” Renjun spoke up and Donghyuck nodded. Chenle knew they wouldn't appreciate his input so he stayed quiet. 

Chenle preferred to travel alone. He was fit and really fast, so he could make it places without having to stop and rest. But when you travel with six others you have to stop often and wait for someone. Chenle’s surprised they even made it to their planned destination. 

They ended up making it farther than they had originally planned. They would have kept going but Donghyuck kept complaining about his feet hurting, so they set up camp where they were. Jaemin came over and tried to get him to eat, instead of fighting it Chenle acted like he didn't exist, just like they had done to him all day. The only person who acknowledged his existence was Jisung, but Chenle wasn't in the mood to talk to him.

The tensions soon dissolved and everyone was back to normal(if acting like one of members of their group was invisible was normal). Chenle wanted to sleep. To get this day over with. But he didn't want to sleep earlier than everyone else. So he waited for everyone to start setting up for bed, they kept the arrangements from the day before. He was glad he didn't sleep with Jaemin, because he ruined their friendship(if what they had was even a friendship). 

For some reason Jisung,and Chenle were sitting much closer tonight, Chenle had one of his legs over Jisung’s and Jisung had one of his arms around his waist. He didn't know why he felt so comfortable in Jisung’s grasp. Jisung fell asleep fast, he must have been really worn out. Unconsciously pulling Chenle closer to him, which was hard considering how close they already were. Because of that Chenle ended up halfway on Jisung’s lap, which must have woken him up because suddenly he was being moved completely onto Jisung’s lap. 

“Goodnight Lele.” it came out as more of a slur which made Chenle doubt if he was even awake. But he chose to ignore everything and just force himself to sleep. 

After about five(a rough estimate) minutes he heard voices which brought him out of his daze. 

“I should've never hit him. It's just Jisung took so long to come around to me and he’s already so comfortable with Chenle. If I would have hit him he wouldn't have reacted as nicely as he did, so I guess I just got angry.” 

“So you're just jealous.” 

“No” a pause, “I don't know anymore”

More silence followed that. He wanted to be mad at Donghyuck for hitting him but he couldn't. For one he deserved to be hit, and when Donghyuck sounded so confused and so unsure of himself he couldn't be mad. 

“Do you really think he’s a burden?” 

No response.

But the silence said enough.

“He looked so scared when you hit him but he didn't even fight back. I know you were just angry but next time how about you don't resort to violence because I know it doesn't seem like it but we were finally breaking some of his walls and now all that progress is gone. I wasn't even the one that hit him but I feel like I betrayed him.” 

“What's done is done.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, when I first wrote this chapter they were never mad at Chenle. But after receiving so many comments expecting this, I realised that it might work as a good plot so I changed some things up. You'll see how they overcome this problem in the next couple of chapters !! And I didn't add who said what at the end because it's up to you to decide who said what : )


	7. 07

Chenle's day was already starting off better than the previous one. For starters no one got punched in the face leading to everyone hating him, fun times. Sure, waking up in Jisung’s lap was awkward and he felt like his heart was about to implode but it wasn't that bad. They just ignored each other and when the group started walking he couldn't help but feel alone again. It was hard to feel anything but alone when the only person who talked to you was now ignoring you. 

Donghyuck and Jaemin were laughing the whole time. He knows he shouldn't still like them, but he does. They got close really fast, they got along with everyone. Jeno and Renjun liked to stick together and Jaemin was often off with them, they complimented each other perfectly(though anyone could tell there was some sort of tension between them and Renjun seemed to be stuck in the middle of it). Mark and Donghyuck got along perfectly, the way they fought only seemed to add to their dynamic. They felt comfortable with each other, and they were willing to voice their opinions with each other. 

Then there was Jisung of course. But he didn't seem to fit in with them. It wasn't that they left him out because really it was the opposite, they constantly tried to include him but he never seemed interested. Which only made his mind wander to what Donghyuck had said the night before. Was Jisung comfortable around him? He wasn't oblivious to the fact that Jisung talked to him more than everyone else, and he wasn't oblivious to the fact that Jisung went out of his way to see him, but it must have been out of pity. No one would hang out with him if it wasn't out of pity. 

A very abrupt yell was heard which was followed by a scream, he wasn't too worried because he knew it was the group messing around, again(they had been messing around all day). When he looked up he saw Donghyuck and Jeno laughing, while everyone else was obviously trying their best to hold in their laughter. But Jisung wasn't amused, in fact he looked quite angry. He put two and two together to figure out that it was Donghyuck who yelled and Jisung who screamed. 

Jisung glared at Donghyuck and Chenle was glad he wasn't on the receiving end because it was scary, he wasn't used to that side of him. He started walking forward as he ignored Donghyuck’s apologies. 

Donghyuck grabbed his arm, “It was just a joke Jisungie! I didn't know you'd be this upset!” 

Jisung shook him off, “Leave me alone.” 

Donghyuck didn't leave him alone. Chenle could see that Jisung was about to explode so he stepped in. Maybe stepping in was risky but Jisung had done the same for him so he should at least return the favor, but he did it silently as he didn't want to cause anything. He just ran up to Jisung grabbed his sleeve and pulled him to the back of the group, everyone stared at first but quickly turned around and continued walking. He was surprised no one commented on it. 

“He was just joking around.” He was ignored, and wow, it wasn't a fun feeling. He was starting to realise why everyone hated him. 

“Jisung.” he wasn't going to give up though. He didn’t like being ignored by Jisung. 

“Jisungie.” 

“Ji.” He was starting to run out of ideas because there is only so much you can do with his name. 

“Baby.” He hadn't wanted to use that one. But, he was desperate and it worked. Jaemin called him that(called meaning in the past) and he liked the way it sounded and he thought that it was cute. But in all actuality saying it to someone was kind of(very) nerve wracking. 

“What?” Jisung finally turned to him with wide eyes and red ears. It was cute.

“Hi.” 

Jisung laughed and Chenle felt a weird feeling in his stomach. He ignored it and started talking to Jisung, he wanted to help him calm down. The whole time they were walking Jisung and Chenle talked. They answered each others questions(though they weren't personal so it wasn't too hard). 

Chenle had been in the middle of talking(he did most of the talking) when he heard something, “Can you guys be quiet I hear something.” they all stopped and waited for Chenle. He was surprised they even listened to him, but I guess when it's a situation like this they kind of have to put everything behind them. 

He heard footsteps, plural, and he knew they wouldn't be able to outrun them as they'd be heard, “Someone's coming. You have to hide, be smart about it.” he waited for all of them to hide to make sure they weren't visible. They weren't. 

But of course Jisung waited for him, so that meant that both of them were without a hiding spot. They exchanged a worried look as the footsteps grew closer. Chenle quickly grabbed his arm and pulled him behind a thick tree, he pulled Jisung really close to him. This spot was more open then everyone else’s. He ignored how nervous he felt. He was doing this for their safety. The footsteps grew really close, until Chenle could hear the persons ragged breathing and loud footsteps. Suddenly a voice spoke up, but it wasn't one of their voices, it sounded electronic. 

“Have you found anyone?” It sounded like it came out of some device. 

“No, I can't find anyone. All of our inside resources are leading us into dead ends.”

Chenle looked at Jisung who for the first time looked terrified, his face pale and his hands were shaking against Chenle’s back. He didn't know why he was so scared but he just held him tighter, it was the only thing he could do. 

“Have you come across anyone? Anyone at all?” Chenle realised who they were dealing with. It was a holder, and Chenle hated holders more than anything else. They could take a vibrant if they needed to, but they were no match against a holder.

Chenle held onto Jisung a little tighter, for Jisung’s sake of course, totally not for himself. “It’s okay. I won't let him hurt you.” Jisung whispered in his ear, he must have been visibly scared for Jisung to notice. He felt a hand slip into his. This was not the time to feel his heartbeat quicken, he could hear it in his ears, because he was scared not because of Jisung. 

“Just hurry up and get back, it's suitor day tomorrow, we need all the help we can get. We always lose a lot of people.” 

Chenle was gonna leave tomorrow. He planned on leaving then because it seemed easiest. But his plans had to change. And He ended up leaving months earlier. He was glad he did. 

“Okay, on my way.” the holder said and Chenle heard his footsteps grow closer to where he was. He must have heard them. Jisung squeezed his hand, Chenle stayed as still as he could. When he heard the holder turn around and walk off his head fell onto Jisung’s chest. But he was still on edge, his heart was beating really fast(though that could have been for another reason). As soon as at least ten minutes passed they all came out of hiding, they didn't want to risk it by coming out earlier. 

“Was that a holder?” Renjun asked, but he knew everyone else knew. So no one answered.

“There could be more.” Jeno quickly added.  
“I heard multiple footsteps at first. But I think they split up,” Chenle spoke up. Maybe that wasn't the best thing to say.

They all turned to look at him with slight panic on their faces, “We need to go right now,” Jaemin said quickly and Mark nodded. 

“Let’s just keep heading in the direction we were going. This time quietly.” He then turned to Chenle, “I don't know what we’d do without you.” He gave him a small smile.

Chenle just nodded. He didn't like praise, well, of course he liked it, he just didn't know how to respond to it. But when they finally started to acknowledge him he felt better about everything. 

He looked at Jisung who was just standing there uninterested in the midst of all the panic, Chenle didn't know how he did it. How could someone as young as him stay strong all the time? It made Chenle feel like he was doing something wrong. Jisung had been scared but he quickly ignored it and helped Chenle(which only made him feel worse because it only proved what Donghyuck said; he is a burden). 

When Jisung caught his stare Chenle quickly looked away, his face burning. It wasn't that he didn't want to be caught staring, he was just embarrassed because of how close they had just been. Jisung laughed, “Come on Lele, we should catch up with everyone else.” He started walking ahead, not waiting for Chenle to catch up(not that it took him long to catch up anyways). 

Mark had led them to an abandoned building. Which immediately brought worry to everyone's faces. Donghyuck was the only one willing to let it leave his mouth, “Mark this is too obvious!” he seemed to be the only one okay with yelling at Mark. But then again Mark only let Donghyuck yell at him, it was a mutual agreement. 

“Well, Donghyuck, do you have any better ideas?” Mark yelled at him, stress obvious in his voice. Chenle felt bad for him, he was trying his best to hold this dysfunctional group together. 

Renjun quickly spoke up, “We should stay here. But we’ll just have to all stay in one room.” He was smart. So everyone started to feel okay with staying here, especially when Renjun added, “We are at least ten miles off the Lake, it's suitor day tomorrow and if you were paying attention to how we got here, we are in a very dense forest. We’ll be fine.” 

Everyone started to quietly make their way into the building. Chenle went ahead of them to check if anyone was in there, of course someone was, a man who looked older than all of them but not that old. Donghyuck and Mark started fighting, fuck. They couldn't keep quiet for one minute? The man’s head immediately snapped in the direction of the voices. Chenle hid himself, but when the man came out of the room he was spotted. 

The man grabbed Chenle by the arm roughly. He dragged Chenle in the direction of the voices, stopping when he landed in front of them. He tried to resist but it was virtually impossible when he was half tbe size of the man. Plus, he had never been strong he’d always only been fast. You could easily see the panic in everyone's faces, but Renjun just froze.

“Renjun?” the man spoke up, “I never thought I’d see you again.” 

“You sold me out!” Renjun yelled and he sounded genuinely angry. 

“You know I had no choice.” He didn't sound like he regretted it. 

“I trusted you.” He didn't sound as angry anymore, he just sounded betrayed. “You just let them take me, did you ever care about me?” 

“I had no choice. You know what happened last time I tried to fight back!” Chenle just wished that he’d be let go because he could tell that both of them were starting to get angry. The mans grip started to get tighter. 

“You never cared about me.” He sounded sad, and everything sounded like he was overwhelmed and confused, “You only ever cared about her! You would have never sold her out!” 

“I saved your life!” 

“No, you ruined my life.” Renjun looked so broken in that moment but before anyone could comfort him he ran out. Surprisingly, no one ran out after him. 

“You're just going to let him leave like that?” 

Donghyuck gestured to Chenle. He was surprised they didn't just leave him. Chenle felt a hand grip his neck. Suddenly it tightened, he couldn't breath. He tried to pull the hand off, but then his vision started fading. Right before everything went black he was thrown onto the floor. 

“I don't ever want to see you again, if I do, he’s mine.” 

He pointed to Chenle before walking back off into the building. Chenle felt like he couldn't breath. He was terrified, he felt so useless as his air was sucked out of him. He was always useless. Jisung rushed over and helped him up, “I think we should go find Renjun.” He quickly rushed out because honestly he couldn't stand being in that room anymore. 

Finding Renjun was kind of difficult. But they eventually found him, he was crying and he sounded miserable. When they tried to talk to him he ignored them. Jeno just sat next to him, he hugged him and he wouldn't let go of him(you could tell Renjun appreciated it though). It broke Chenle’s heart in all honesty to watch as the group sat their in despair waiting for Renjun to stop crying(because honestly he sounded so upset and maybe that's what broke his heart the most). 

“I think we all need to come clean.” Mark suddenly spoke up, “I know you guys might not want to but I think we need to.” no one argued. Even if this was the last thing everyone wanted. 

Mark started setting up and Chenle tried to call himself down, but when he looked over at Jisung he saw that he was freaking out. He was standing off to the side and he looked like he was going to cry. He noticed Chenle staring at him and surprisingly he just walked over to him, as soon as he came over Chenle hugged him. “Are you okay? You don't look too good.” 

Jisung pulled Chenle off of him gently and looked at him, his hand softly touching Chenle’s neck, “I could ask you the same thing.” of course he flipped the situation. He had a habit of bringing the attention off of himself and onto someone else.

“Jisung, I'm serious.” 

“I’m fine. I was just surprised by what Mark said.” the honesty was appreciated but he didn't expect it. Chenle grabbed Jisung’s hand, “I don't think anyone really wants to come clean but Mark wouldn't suggest something like that unless if it was important. I’ll be with you the whole time.”

“Thank you Lele.” He smiled(though he still had the same glassy look in his eyes that made Chenle’s heart break, today has been.hard for all of them). “I think they finished setting up we should go sit down.” Chenle didn't want to show that he was terrified, he has never told anyone about his past so he was kind of freaking out. He knew that they had to, he just didn't know if he could do it. 

Jisung sat down and without thinking Chenle sat in between his legs, he was doing this for Jisung’s sake, to make sure he knew Chenle was there for him. Jisung just grabbed Chenle’s hands and intertwined their fingers, everyone looked at Mark and waited until he finally spoke up, “I know you guys don't want to do this but it's for everyone's safety.” 

“I’ll go first.” Renjun spoke up, “Since this is kind of my fault I think you guys deserve an explanation.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be written in Renjun’s pov !! And I'm sorry if this is bad ajshsn and if there are any typos I didn't re read this so


	8. RENJUN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After all no one loves him and even if they do, they'd drop him instantly when they feel threatened. 
> 
> So did they ever really care?

Renjun didn't have bad holders in fact he was quite fond of them. His holders often praised his talents(those of just being smart which was the only thing he had going for him). In turn he listened to what they had to say about their lives and he started to depend on him. They weren't supposed to socialize with Renjun as much as they did, so they got replaced. When they got replaced Renjun started to think of ways to escape because he lost the only people he cared for, why would he stay? 

He wasn't a strong or fast person so going over the walls wasn't an option he considered for more than a (desperate) second. So he had to go under the walls which was a big challenge. When would he have enough time to make it under the walls? 

Well, he took night classes and wasn't escorted on the way back so he could simply find a way to get under for a couple of weeks, and when he was asked why he came home late he told them classes ran late. They always believed him, they couldn't care for him and his classes. Which was perfect, because he found people by the walls once and he knew they were attempting the same thing as him. So that night he left with them and he stayed with them for a while. 

But he wasn't happy with them. They ignored him, they made him feel useless when he made mistakes. He lived with it though. It was the small price he had to pay for protection, but it became too much. He left one day without telling anyone. But he doubts that they ever cared, they never liked him anyways. 

No one ever likes him.

He was alone for a while. But that didn't really bother him, he never had anyone before why would he care now? Then he met two people, a man(who was only a couple years older than him) named Minho, and a girl(closer in age but still older) named Minkyung. This was where everything started. They were nice and they appreciated everything Renjun had to say so of course he was happy with them. He liked it when people appreciated him for once. 

They fixed his broken state. So he got really close to them, he looked up to them.

They liked him. 

Minho and Minkyung were really close so naturally Renjun was like a third wheel. It never bothered him as much as it should have, he was never as smart as he thought. If he had been smarter he would have realised that they treated him differently than they treated each other, they were using him. Now he can see that they treated him delicately and constantly praised him when he did what they wanted, but if he didn't do what they wanted they'd ignore him. 

Things were going fine with them. They planned of raiding some vibrant camps(Renjun was highly against the idea but he knew he couldn't protest so he went along). Of course, Renjun had to think of how to do all of it and they hadn't been doing too bad. In fact they had successfully raided many camps unharmed, but people started to come for revenge. At first it was simply just talking, they would always come to an agreement. 

But, one day, they had been sitting around their camp when they were approached by a group. Renjun and Minkyung were immediately grabbed(because everyone knew Minho was the leader). Renjun stayed quiet because he wasn't very good at confrontations. Minho got mad at him when he tried to talk too, so he proffered to stay quiet. 

They wanted what had been stolen but they didn't have it anymore. Minho tried to tell him that but they were angry. He heard a scream and looked over to see Minkyung lying limp on the ground surrounded by her blood, a horrible sight for someone who cared deeply for her. Renjun of course didn't try to fight back, he didn't want the same thing to happen to him. This was a heartbreaking yet scary moment in his life. 

Minkyung always stood up for him. Well, she did at first. But then Minho started to yell at her when she stood up for him so she stopped, it didn't make Renjun upset though. Because she praised him as much as she could. He cared for her a lot. 

“Give us something to make up for what you did. He's next.” 

“Take him.” Minho shrugged and he didn't look fazed at all, he looked pained at the sight of Minkyung but he was willing to let Renjun go just like that. 

He cried as he was being dragged away. He's never cried that hard in his life. Minho and Minkyung were the only people who cared for him, or at least that's what he had thought. But Minho abandoned him just like that, they never cared. This was the turning point for him. No one cared for him in this world. 

He was alone. 

No one wanted him. People were willing go give him up when he couldn't give them what he wanted. Was he worth anything at all? He used to feel happiness when he was Minho but now he only feels betrayal, a betrayal that feels like his heart is being ripped out. Was it supposed to hurt this much? 

If this had been any situation he’d like to think that he wouldn't be this broken. He’s just upset because of how quickly he was given away! Totally not because he now had no one and he shared so much with Minho and Minkyung, only to be turned away. He felt empty, like his mind shut down and he was being forced to listen to his heart beating soundly against his chest. 

If Minkyung had been alive would she have let Minho sell him out like that? He likes to think she wouldn't, but now he doesn't know. But her being dead, killed in front of his eyes by the very people dragging him hurt a lot, which only added to everything he was feeling. He would never be able to hear her again, to hear her laugh or sweet talk her way out of things because now she lays out of breath, to be admired by none when she was truly so admirable. 

He should be the one lying dead on the floor. 

Renjun felt numb. But within that numbness was pain. He should have been fighting to set himself free but he couldn't, he didn't want to. Because honestly, any death they could inflict upon him would hurt less than what he just went through. He knew he had to go, to grow up and realise that this was his life. 

A life full of pain and resentment wasn't ideal but it was his life. 

So, he waited for them to fall asleep(a rookie mistake) and he ran off as fast as he could. Which mind you is not that fast but he tried his best. It was dark and he couldn't see that well so when he felt a strong arm grab his shoulder, followed by a force on his neck he lost it. He didn't want to be this weak but he just wanted them to leave him alone. Couldn't they see he was no use? He couldn't do anything he was useless; that's why Minho didn't want him. 

“I don't have what you want! If you let me go i’ll tell you who we sold it to!” He cried out, his tears from earlier coming back in full force. 

Someone walked in front of him and he froze. He didn't recognize him. Did he escape from them only to land in the grasp of others? 

“Are you with them?” If Renjun didn't have a knife up to his throat he would have laughed. Would a holder be crying this hard? Anyone could tell from his mental(and physical) state that he wasn't a holder. 

“Can you please just let me go before they wake up.” He pleaded. He hadn't made it too far from the camp and if they woke up now they could easily find him. And he knows they won't be happy to know that he escaped. 

“Before who wakes up?” 

“That's not important! Just please let me go I don't want to go back!” when he felt the knife on his neck move he scrambled off only to be grabbed again, this time by the one who had been talking to him. 

“You're going to stay with us.” He explained and Renjun almost broke down again. Why was his luck so bad? 

The one who had been holding him originally came into his view and smiled. How could he smile in a situation like this? Renjun wishes he could live as happily as him, as pure and innocent as him. But his life doesn't work that way and he has to live with tragedy after tragedy(you’d think they'd only get easier to deal with but really it gets harder). 

“What's your name? And I'm sorry for holding a knife up to your neck.” 

“Renjun, and it's okay, you aren't the first one to do that today.” 

“Jeno! This is not the time to make friends!” He yelled but then continued, “Oh and I'm Jaemin.” 

At the time he was angry to have found them. But now he knows that if it wasn't for them he wouldn't have made it through himself, he was so upset those first weeks with them. Scared that they'd do the same thing to him, but they treated him better than Minho and Minkyung ever did. He didn't deserve to be treated like this because he wasn't worth anything. But they treated him like was worth everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really bad I'm so sorry!! I had really high hopes for this chapter but I feel like I failed:( anyways who's backstory would you like to see next(minus Chenle and Jisungs)? And I'm sorry that this took so long to come out!!
> 
> I AND I'M SORRY THIS IS SO SHORT:((


	9. JAEMIN

Being taught a skill by the cities elite was a highly sought out life, and somehow Jaemin attained it. He was being trained in the medical field and he was ecstatic, this was exactly what he wanted because it'd get him out of that lousy house for the day. In his opinion he didn't think he was as bad as everyone kept telling him he was. Sure, he wasn't the best. But everyone had their flaws, he just had a little more than everyone else. Nothing he couldn't fix with a little bit of time and effort. 

Except, he wasn't given time. They told him that he wasn't cut out for this life and that he could no longer attend lessons, it didn't hit him at first. But when the next day rolled around he realised how much of a failure he was. 

Had he really gotten dropped like that? 

No one ever got dropped. 

He’d worked so hard. Granted even with that hard work he still wasn't all that good, but he still worked hard.

Being alone in a room all day did things to a person. In his mind he replayed every mistake he ever made during the lessons. He always got scolded too, which of course didn't feel too good. His mind got to him, it sucked him into a hole he wasn't able to escape. But he couldn't go back and fix his mistakes so his mind was unable to heal. 

He started to refuse to work with his teachers. He had no motivation. When he arrived back at home he would go straight to sleep, he didn't like to be awake with his mind for longer than he had to. Even when he tried his best he still wasn't good enough. He didn't want to leave because there was nothing out there for him, after all, there wasn't anything for him here either. 

But he was forced to leave. 

He got kicked out. 

People get kicked out when they don't meet the cities standards. They told him that they felt as if he was going down a path of insanity, which ruined their no crime law(a very stupid law). He understood why they thought that but it sent him down another path. 

When he got out of the city(everything was very bare and rundown) he looked to the forest and met eyes with a boy, his eyes were filled with fear but he acknowledged Jaemin before running off. Jaemin thought about running after him. But he didn't, that'd be kind of sketchy even he knew that.

For a couple weeks he just hung out by the walls(he got kicked out so he didn't care about holders seeing him, he wasn't allowed back in anyways). But then he realised that there wasn't anything for him inside the city. So, it took a lot out of him but he managed to get away from the walls. It felt good when he finally made it away from the walls. 

He liked to raid abandoned buildings because it was the only thing that silenced his mind. Usually things would go without interruptions, but this time Jaemin had been walking and without realising it he walked into someone. This reminded him of how useless he was. He couldn't do anything right. When he looked up he met eyes with a boy, but there was something familiar about them. 

“I remember you.” Jaemin breathed out, it was the boy from the walls. His eyes that once showed an unprecedented amount of fear now showed caution and relaxation, though who could truly be relaxed in this life. 

“Are you with them?” he breathes out and Jaemin’s heart dropped to his stomach. He wasn't with them but the question still made him nervous, “I’m not I promise.” 

The boy smiled. 

Jaemin didn't know why it made him happy to see that. No one really smiled anymore and especially not with that much warmth and sincerity. He smiled back, “Are you alone?” 

“I am, it's really boring.” He frowned and Jaemin’s heart sunk a little. He preferred to see him smiling. 

“We could always stick together. I'm alone too.” The suggestion came out before he could even think. “My name's Jaemin by the way.” 

“I'm Jeno.” 

“Well Jeno, what do you say? Wanna be my plus one?” he winked and when Jeno laughed he felt something inside of him. He wanted to make him laugh more, he wanted to make him happy because seeing him smile made Jaemin happy. It made him feel like he was doing something right. 

“it's better than traveling alone so sure.” 

That's how he met Jeno who within a short couple of weeks he had become close with. Taking care of Jeno made him weirdly happy, he wasn't sure if it was because he harbored some sort of feelings for him or if he just liked to take care of people. But caring for people was easier said than done.If Jeno was feeling down he comforted him to the best of his ability and he swore to never let him see him upset, he didn't want Jeno to be upset as he was actually quite sensitive. 

Jeno had called him mom once as a joke. But it made him feel warm inside. He didn't know why he liked to be acknowledged for something as simple as appreciating people, but he liked it a lot. It was the only thing he was good at.

They had been at their camp one night when they heard someone run in, well run very close to their camp and Jeno immediately jumped up. He had very fast reflexes. They saw someone running and Jeno grabbed him quickly, but when he started crying Jaemin felt like he was different. Though he knew he shouldn't let his guard down even if the sight of the boy made his heart ache. 

“Are you with them?” he knew he wasn't. But asking people this was sort of second nature at this point. 

“Can you please just let me go before they wake up.” Jeno had his knife on Renjun’s neck and it was weird to see him, someone who hated violence practicing such hostility. But you had to do it sometimes. 

He sounded scared, Jaemin had never heard so much emotions in someone's voice all at once. He had tears streaming down his face and his eyes were red(it was dark but you could still see). He sounded extremely distraught. No one could fake all of that. But what he said struck something in Jaemin. Was he in danger? 

“Before who wakes up?” 

“That's not important! Just please let me go I don't want to go back!” Jaemin looked at the boy, the way his knees shook and his tears never seemed to stop and he froze. He heard him whisper a small please and before he could say anything Jeno had already removed the knife from his neck. 

The boy immediately tried to run off but Jaemin managed to grab him. “You're going to stay with us.” 

He could see the fear in his eyes and he frowned, maybe he should've phrased that better. He meant to convey that they'd take care of him, he'd take care of him. 

“What's your name? And I'm sorry for holding a knife up to your neck.” Jeno added and Jaemin almost laughed. 

“Renjun, and it's okay, you're not the first one to do that today.” 

You're not the first one to do that today.

How could anyone possible hurt someone as precious as him? Granted Jaemin didn't know why they hurt him but he already knew it was unjustifiable. 

“Jeno! This is not the time to make friends!” He yelled but then continued, “Oh and I'm Jaemin.” 

Renjun had cried that whole night, he refused to let Jaemin near him. Which was sad and it made him feel like he was doing something wrong again. But he didn't give up he wanted to make him feel better, so whenever Renjun spoke he made sure he knew his opinion and input was appreciated. When Renjun finally let him close, he started to smile and laugh. Him and Jeno got closer than him and Jaemin, but that was okay, as long as he was happy. 

Jaemin would gladly sacrifice his own happiness if it meant they could live out their lives without conflict. 

Seeing the improvement in Renjun’s happiness because of him made realise that this is what made him happy. Being inside the city, trapped, with no one but his mind wasn't right for him. He thought he had lost everything important to him but really he had never obtained anything of great importance. Making people he cared about happy, even if he wasn't happy himself is the only thing he’s good at. So even if he comes across as overbearing and motherly he doesn't care as long as he’s able to make them happy. Because their happiness is more important than anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for taking forever to get this out!! I feel like it's lacking a lot but I don't want yo delay it anymore,,, if you guys have any theories per say about the other members backgrounds I'd love to hear it because honestly what you guys say really helps me come up with ideas and I appreciate it a lot! Sorry this is so short I'll work on making them longer! 
> 
> (And if you stan stray kids I was thinking of making a medieval(?) Arranged marriage type of book focused on minsung, I'm not sure if that seems interesting or not though)


	10. JENO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simple minded. 
> 
> There is something mentally wrong with you. 
> 
> It's disgusting, you're disgusting. 
> 
> Do you hear yourself? It's disgusting.

Getting out of the city wasn't hard for Jeno. In fact he didn't put much thought into it, it's not like he put much thought into anything. 

Simple minded 

All he did was run for it, climbing over the walls before anyone would even spot him. He ignored the regret that seeped into his simple mind when he landed on the other side. A boy, he wasn't running. He was just standing there watching. Jeno ran. He didn't know who that boy was and he didn't want to wait and find out. 

He liked to think of himself as a positive thinker. Someone who looks at the bigger picture. Even if he’s not the smartest, or, really not smart at all, he can still get through tough times with just his will. Though being positive was hard when you came face to face with someone you didn't know. He didn't really know what to say to a person. Jeno was sure he’d seen this boy before but he didn't remember where, everyone looked the same to him. 

“I remember you.” So he wasn't crazy. He’d seen him before(he still had no idea where).

“Are you with them?” he still had to be cautious. The boy froze and his eyes widened, that only made him look suspicious but he managed to choke out an “I'm not, I promise.” 

Jeno smiled. He believed him. 

God, he was so naive. 

He smiled back, he had a really pretty smile. “Are you alone?” 

“I am, it's really boring.” He frowned because being alone really wasn't fun for him. He hated his holders, but he knew not everyone was like them. 

“We could always stick together. I'm alone too. My name's Jaemin by the way.” 

“I'm Jeno.” 

“Well Jeno, what do you say? Wanna be my plus one?” Jaemin winked and he laughed. He hadn't laughed in a while. Well, he’d never really laughed before. 

“it's better than traveling alone so sure.” 

That's how he met the only one(at the time) who hadn't belittled him or his abilities. Jaemin became a beacon of sorts, he made Jeno feel like he had more than his positive attitude. But even he couldn't always be happy, no one could, except Jaemin. 

He’d never seen Jaemin upset(other than when Chenle got lost but that's a story for another time). He wasn't a positive person and he was still always happier than Jeno could ever be. That didn't really help his self esteem. The one thing Jeno felt good at, he wasn't even good at. He would never open up to Jaemin. Saying the bare minimum helped him get by, he said things that weren't personal so Jaemin wouldn't think he was upset. 

Whenever he made a mistake Jaemin never called him negative names. Never told him how, simple minded, he was. When Jeno said things he didn't understand he didn't tell him that there was something mentally wrong with him. Jeno wished he would, he didn't like it when people lied to him. Jaemin was obviously thinking all those things. He was just too nice to tell the truth. 

Meeting Renjun had been like a breath of fresh air. He loved Jaemin, really it was impossible not to. But, Renjun was real. The night they had found him he cried until the sun came up. He had never seen someone so, raw, in his life. 

If he could be like that. Someone confident in their own emotions he could get past his simple mindset. If he could show them that he too was real, and smart maybe they'd appreciate him. Maybe he'd appreciate himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I'm back after a LONG hiatus:( I'm sorry and I'm so sorry for coming back with a horribly short chapter:( honestly the only reason ended up finishing this chapter was because I got triggered by mental abuse, specifically by a video and it was all too real for me so I decided to vaguely write about it.
> 
> I'll probably come back and rewrite this whole chapter to make it better but it works for now, it's more of a look into Jeno' s mind and nothing is laid out clearly. You have to think -
> 
> How would you feel about a chapter after this, and then one after markhyuck , and then chensung where it'll be a filler for them to just talk about whatever they mentioned and I could answer any questions you guys had in the chapter?? Like, for example if you wanted to know how long Jeno was alone for then in the chapter i would have someone ask him:)


	11. DONGHYUCK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sometimes meeting new people is all you need to continue living.

  _Terror, never belonging to the boy. The woman screamed as she grabbed for the young boy, "I love you!" she'd repeatedly scream. Followed by a, "I just wanted to protect you!" The sorrow in her voice breaking through her heart as she fought those holding her back. They wouldn't let her near the boy. The boy just stood there, his heart ripping in two, as he watched the woman get dragged away screams of agonizing sorrow engulfing the surrounding forest._

 

Donghyuck liked to think he was funny. But, being alone, escaping, alone he didn't really have anyone to talk to. So, when he saw a boy running as if his life depended on it(which he later found out, it did) blood running down his arms and terror on his face he didn't hesitate to grab the boy and run. Honestly, at first he didn't even know where he was going. He heard people yelling, most definitely for the boy who seemed really out of it. Donghyuck stopped behind a thick area of trees and plants alike.  He had been hiding here for weeks and so far no one had spotted him.

“Hey, I'm gonna help you, okay?” he whispered to the boy, who looked just as scared as he did before. Also, very young.

"I-I dont need help!” he weakly muttered, but sat down nonetheless. Donghyuck sighed and grabbed his things, he had been trained to be a doctor inside the walls so he knew what he was doing. Sometimes he wondered why he had been trained. He wasn't prime doctor material.

“I'm Donghyuck,” he smiled as he cleaned the boys arm, he had been shot. Probably a keeper, they were the only ones with guns.

“I'm Jisung,” that was the only thing he had said to Donghyuck for two weeks. He ended up staying, Donghyuck had grown a need to to protect him and refused to let him leave. Jisung never talked to him so he wondered if it was really worth it.

Jisung wouldn't often voice his opinion on things. He preferred to stay out of it. Sometimes Donghyuck felt like Jisung hated him, why else would he act so distanced? Even if he hated him donghyuck felt like he needed to put effort into things. He just wished that same effort would be put into him. 

He just wanted someone he could hug without feeling like he could be bitten any second.  Very specific, and no, he doesn't want to talk about it.

Then, when he got that he wasn't sure how to take it. Donghyuck wanted to flee, and surprisingly so did Jisung, so, naturally they headed for the lake. If they could just make it passed the lake safely they'd be safe. The lake wasn't vacant though and suddenly they were faced with a fat head lion boy. Or at least that's what donghyuck kept calling him in his head. .Pushing Jisung behind him(he was stronger than Donghyuck but it was the thought that counted) he glared at the boy who didn't look much older than him, “If you would move that'd be terrific”

Threatening people? No, not his style. He preferred a more passive aggressive, fuck off or eat my ass type of attack. It typically garnered a worse response though, he had no idea why.

“You shouldn't go on the lake. It's too dangerous, the other side has been overrun” donghyuck just rolled his eyes, “Ah, yes, I'll trust the boy I don't know” the boy stepped forward and Donghyuck immediately glared at him.

“Don't you dare touch my baby!” ignoring the protests of Jisung he pushed Mark away. How dare he come after his son like that? The wod may be a shithole but really, too far.

When the boy fell to the ground that's when he noticed.

“You're hurt.” a big, gash residing on his stomach. It looked painful and when he fell to the ground the pain on his face proved that he really needed help. Donghyuck, might, have felt bad.

“I told you, it's not safe there,” he looked scared, tired and extremely uncomfortable. Donghyuck couldn't just leave him. Right?

“I can help you,” Jisung always told him not to help random people, not everyone was good. But looking at the boy, his back on the ground and his stomach stained with blood he felt like he needed to help. But maybe, just maybe, saying that you'd help someone you just pushed wasn't exactly ideal. But what was he supposed to do? Apologize? 

He may feel bad but he still has dignity!

Donghyuck extended his hand to the boy as he helped him up, “I'm Donghyuck, and that's Jisung! He doesn't talk much but he's sweet!” Jisung waved awkwardly and Donghyuck's heart may have melted, just a tad.

“I'm Mark,” the boy, Mark, smiled hesitantly. When Donghyuck motioned for him to follow he did. The walk back was quiet, it always was. Even when they set up camp no one spoke, the only sound being the wind brushing past the leaves. He could tell Mark was scared. Understandably so. He was badly injured and suddenly offered help with someone who had just physically hit him.

“Can you take off your shirt?” Mark did what he said almost instantly. The look on his face showed fear. But trailing down to his torso it was a different story. His stomach had gashes on it, thankfully not too deep. His back covered in big dark bruises.

He was probably only cooperating so donghyuck wouldn't hurt him. 

“I'm not gonna hurt you. You don't have to be scared,” the silence enveloped them after he spoke. Mark did seem to ease up, and more willingly let Donghyuck help him. “I'm sorry for pushing you like that. I'm just really protective. if I had known I wouldn't have touched you like that,”

“Is it bad?” he got ignored. It didn't bother him as much as it should have. It actually made him happy, someone was talking to him.

“Not too bad. You're lucky the cuts aren't any deeper, it'd be a different story then,” he finished wrapping him up. He had a small waist so it didn't require as much gauze. But as he handed him back his shirt he realised that it wouldn't do, it was covered in blood. How he hadn't noticed it before was a mystery. Thankfully, they had just recently gone on a clothes run and he had the perfect sweater for Mark. After rummaging for a while he found it, a black hoodie with a design on the front. He walked back over and handed it to Mark who smiled as he thanked him.

 

 

He couldn't sleep that night. There were questions he needed answers to. Thankfully the person he needed was also awake. Moving over to Mark he sat by his side, “So, what happened to you?”

Judging by the look on Mark's face this wasn't the best question to ask. He looked terrified, like whatever had gotten him was staring straight at him again. Donghyuck in a panic wrapped his arms around Mark, “Hey, you're okay! You don't have to answer that,”

When Mark didn't push him away he felt a strange pang in his heart. Sitting in silence he rested his head on Mark's shoulder, and surprisingly Mark moved his arm so it rested on Donghyuck's hip. Instead of enjoying it he just thought of when it was going to end. When he got to comfortable in Mark's embrace he was gonna pull away, and mock him, tell him how pathetic is. He's gonna say he doesnt want anyone else, but in weeks he'll have someone new. In his dreams they'll corner him and laugh! 

“Thanks for helping me,” Mark whispered. The air was hot, and Donghyuck felt like he needed to hold on tight before Mark let go. So he did.

“You've been alone for awhile haven't you? I'm guessing you haven't touched someone in a while,” Mark teased but made no attempt to move away.

“shut up! None of that matters, I have you now!” he elbowed mark in the side instantly regretting it when he remembered. But mark just laughed, and hugged Donghyuck. How was he so, nice?

 

Maybe, that became a routine for them.  What would he do if mark left?

 

After meeting Jisung, and then Mark, he realised that his life wouldn't have ever been completed without them. Sometimes meeting new people is all you need to continue living. As much as he hated his personality. His undying love for everyone he met, and his undying need to protect. Maybe, he trusted people too easily. But, if he hadn't trusted them then he'd be alone. He couldn't last alone. The loneliness would kill him before the horrible survival skills he possessed could!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He didnt share the mark stuff with the group! I just added that to develop their relationship:)) basically, donghyuck is lonely. I couldve given him a more elaborate backstory, but, for one I dont like using trauma as a little thing just for the story, and, loneliness can be just as bad as other deemed more important things.It may seem insignificant, but growing up I struggled a lot with it and as stupid as it is I enjoy adding personal touches to all of these. So, ngl all the backstory chapters are kind of inspired by things that have happened to me(slightly exaggerated for story telling purposes ofc) 
> 
>  
> 
> N e ways i hope you enjoyed this short ass chapter !


End file.
